Moments

I'm having a hard time blogging lately and I'm thinking its because I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around what I have been feeling lately.  On one hand there is a lot of stress and fear and worry going on about my mom.  There has been so much stress with work that I have to keep reminding myself that it's not appropriate to break down and start crying, at least not while you are at work.  And then the regular challenges with kids, family, church, trying to keep the house sort of clean, etc.  But on the other hand there is so much joy and happiness and feeling blessed that my mom is getting cancer treatment, grateful for the new role and experiences I'm having at work, happy to just be silly with my family.  What can I say, I've been a little bit of a basket case.

I know that it's not always going to be like this.  Trials come and go, I will get a handle on work, the house will eventually get cleaned, etc.  But at the same time my kids are not always going to be like this either.  My boys are not always going to follow me around crying to be held, or begging me to watch Ninja Turtles or sneaking into my room early on Saturday mornings to try and get in bed with us.

Even though life has been so chaotic it's also been really good.  One good thing about my mom's cancer is that we have all learned to enjoy the moments and to not always look at the big picture.  The moments that are so good make going through the tough times worth it.  I swear we really have been having fun!  And one day (hopefully soon) I will get back to blogging but for now I'm just focusing on the moments.