Working Mama

Growing up I always thought I would have a career.  I thought I would be older when I got married and even older when Matt and I started a family.  I guess that is the funny part about life and plans, that they never turn out the way you anticipated.

I am finding the task of being a working mother very challenging.  While I was on maternity leave I worried so much about returning to work.  I knew that I would have to allow others to help raise my son and that thought broke my heart.  I worried so much that we would lose our strong connection and that he would become more attached to his grandmas.

I have been frustrated and discouraged about this more than usual the past few weeks.  And then I was blessed with a tender mercy last Friday.  It had been such a long day and then I left work early to pick up Nathan from Matt's mom's house. 

When I got there Shayne was holding Nathan and said she had not been able to get him to smile all day.  She handed Nathan to me and I told him hello.  He put his hands on my cheeks, brought his face close to mine, and gave me the largest smile that he could.  He then began to laugh. 

Even though I have to allow others to help me raise Nathan and give up some time with him, I know that I will never have to give up being Nathan's mama.  We will always have that connection that has bonded us together from the moment I knew I was going to be a mother.  I am a working mama, but more importantly I am Nathan's mother, and that will never change.