I remember feeling horrible and swollen and exhausted. My hands and feet were so swollen by this time that I couldn't even make a fist. I could barely walk and definitely had perfected the pregnancy "waddle". And I remember thinking that Nathan was never ever going to come. I wasn't dilated, I wasn't effaced, and Nathan hadn't even dropped!
Because Nathan was a week late I spent my first week of my maternity leave at home without a baby. At this point I was trying everything to get contractions started. I was taking long walks, eating spicy food, going up and down stairs, and scrubbing kitchen floors. I remember
I also remember being extremely nervous at the thought of becoming a mother. Yes I had a niece and nephew and had been around children quite a bit but I still had no clue on how to be a mother. I was getting so stressed about the thought of bathing the baby for the first time or feeding it or even dressing a newborn for the first time. And I really stressed on if I could be a good enough mother for my baby.
Looking back all I really can say is what a year it has been. This has been the hardest, most exhausting, most emotional, happiest, most fulling year of my entire life. The moment the doctor placed Nathan in my arms I knew everything was going to be okay. Because as the tears streamed down my face I knew that I had never loved anything as much as I loved that new little baby.
Every time Nathan has hit milestones Matt and I have been thrilled and welcomed the new stage in Nathan's life. From sitting up to rolling over to crawling to becoming a little toddler. There have been so many moments that I would stop and think there is no way life can get any better than this. Moments that I wish I could bottle up and put on a shelf so that I can never forget how wonderful this past year with Nathan has been.
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