I ran into my old young women leader yesterday at church and she was shocked to hear that I was pregnant again. So then she asked me the question that always comes next, am I going to quit my job and stay home now? I told her that no, I would be taking maternity leave and then going back to work full time and she was the very first person who was actually pleased with my response. She told me that I could do it and good for me for not giving up on my career.
Wow I was so surprised and taken back. And it felt so good to not have to defend my decisions to anyone. To have someone feel proud of me instead of sorry for me. She went on to tell me how she had left work after she had babies but was unhappy staying at home full time and went back to work a few years later. And she told me that it was okay to feel that way.
I know that I wouldn't be happy staying at home full time. I love Nathan to death and will love the new baby but I need more than just staying at home. I love my job, I love getting out of the house and interacting with my coworkers and I love feeling like I am accomplishing something. I do have every intention of cutting my hours back in a few years when money isn't so tight but I never actually plan on leaving work for good.
But what I struggle with is people telling me what would make me happy and feeling sorry for me because I am not home with Nathan all day every day. When men in my office approach me and tell me what a horrible mother I am for not being home with my kid. Or when friends and family say that I am "taking the easy way out" and letting other people raise my children. What gives someone else the right to decide what is best for my family? Don't they understand that I miss my kid every second that I am away from him but that I am doing what is best for him? I may not have an immaculate house, I may not make homemade dinners every night and always have the laundry done and folded. But I love my kid to death and I try to make the most of the time that I can spend with him, so isn't that enough?
I took a Human Development class for my major last year and there was a statistic in there that I really liked! It said that working mothers spend just as much, if not more, quality time with their children as stay at home moms. If you're staying at home, you'll be distracted with housework and other things a lot of the time, even though they still do things with their children quite often. But if you spend all day at work, away from your children, you're more likely to spend your evening doing things with them and making up for that time away. Don't ever let anyone make you feel guilty for working, do what is right for you, and as long as you know and are happy with the quality of time that you spend with your child, it's fine! PLUS... .another statistic suggests development in children who are in daycare is sometimes better because it's structured and they're socialized daily... I could go on. That class enlightened me a lot and I loved it!
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